The ‘Male Child’ Syndrome

157 Comments

Colleague1: Hey guys! Sweets! I am gonna be a father soon 🙂

Colleague2: Wow!Gr8 news man! Esp. gud that u r on the way when u r in the present team .. boy guaranteed!

Colleague3: Exactly! G,M,B and now me .. all of us r proud fathers of a Vamshoddaraka [One who will carry fwd the family-tree]

Colleague1: I hope so too man .. lets c!

I was silent all this while since I hate entering into such cheap discussions. All our words will only fall on deaf ears.

But then:

Colleague3: What say Swaram? Better plan when u r in this team only!

Me: Then I better do it once I move out of this team 👿

Colleague2: Easy to say .. don’t tell me that u don’t wish for a boy too!

Me: Never!

Colleague4 comes in now.

Colleague4: What will you do if its a boy? Throw him in the bin? [Exactly what he said!]

Me: Thank God I can’t think like u! We would love him as much as we would love our daughter!

Colleague2: Ur plans of a daughter would be shattered then .. how sad 😦

Me: If we can’t have one, we hope we can adopt one! Amen!

Colleague4: Jathi [Caste-religion] and all that? [He is the cheapest being I have met .. even if I hate saying this!]

Me: U care? I don’t! Wish u would not too!

He fumes and goes away! Then starts another round.

Colleague2: Everything fine about my son man .. only complaint is he is dark!

I work with such horribly insane characters 😐

I have my own doubts abt what the so-called ‘education’ system is really teaching people!

We r just two daugthers and my parents have tackled the qs of how they will live their life after their daughters get married with gr8 ease.Not even once did we even feel that they missed having a son .. I don’t remember my dad saying such a thing on a single occasion. Let alone my dad, my grandpa had 5 of them and I never saw him complain once in life! I am happy to be a part of such a family.

I always thought things r getting better … or may be they r though @ a snail’s pace.. but so many such characters in one place? Or some of them are getting influenced by others and dare not utter the truth? Y do we yield to social pressure so much? When one of my colleagues was pregnant, she was saying that she would love to have a daughter, but was sure her in-laws would be happy only if it was a son, esp. after her co-sister had just delivered a boy 😦

We gave up watching daily soaps at home long back because we thought they added lot of garam masala and showcased such things! What abt these real-life scenes though? Shall I just shut up and let them wag their tongue? 🙄

And FYI, I let them know that when my friend’s brother, the gr8 Vamshoddaraka refused to look after her Mom and forced her to sign the property letter and pass on the house to his name, it was the daughter who chipped in and her first condition to marry was that her Mother would continue to stay with her! And thatz how it is today! I am proud to have her as a friend and respect her a lot!

Doesn’t this answer the centuries old question?

I whole-heartedly wish my colleague gets a daughter and he learns to love her as much! After reading a few comments and pondering over this, I think he should miss that special bond between a Dad and his daughter. Luv u dad for never having compared me to anyone and for hvng been proud of us sisters always 🙂

157 Comments

  1. oh well! things are changing, but then there are morons everywhere!

    and you know so many things need to change before these kinda people start believing that girls are not a burden! rather they are an asset!

    these are the kinda people who havent sen gender equality practiced around them and dont realise its importance either!

    its sad indeed!

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    1. Yes they r Abha .. @ a snail’s pace though! I still see so many such ppl thriving 😦 It may run down in their families, but when they see broad-minded ppl @ workplace or elsewhere, they still don’t make an attempt to change themselves 😦 Thatz the sad part!

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  3. Some people resist to change!!Life WILL teach them the right lesson at the right time. I know of a lady who went to the doc asking for an abortion, if the baby was a girl. She begot a son, who is about 20yrs old now. She now regrets it was not a girl! 😀

    Changes are not happening suddenly, Swaram, though we all know it is happening. People are EVOLVING!! Let the attitude evolve at its pace. Let’s do our bit to make womanhood proud until then :P. Infact, being a woman itself makes me proud,I know why! 🙂 Cheers!!

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    1. Aww Hi5! I am extremely proud to be a woman 🙂

      Changes .. yes, we hv come a long way from what it ws before, but its hard to accept so called ‘Masters’ degree holders can’t think beyond the sex of a child 😦

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  5. Swaram – I agree with you – education does not seem to make the slightest difference to people with such narrow mindsets. In todays world – they still worry about carrying the family name and junk like that! You know, things cannot change unless people understand that all this amounts to nothing- boy or girl, all that we can hope for is a child who turns out to be loving, responsible and well grounded – and that is up to us. It is the parents who can impart good values. To me, people who hanker after sons just consider sons to be an insurance policy.

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    1. I loved what u said Smithu and hv put it up in bold. Though I find all those lovely frocks and trying out the cutest hair-dos so tempting and yearn for a girl child, I am sure I wud love my boy no less if I hd one 🙂 All that matters is that the kid grows up to be a gud human 🙂

      LOL @ insurance policy .. very true though 😛

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  6. Thats a super post, dear !!!!

    The current generation too have not learnt it yet….very sad….just like you said, let him have a daughter and then he’ll learn…..

    A kid is a kid – why discriminate – why celebrate more if it is a boy – actually a girl is the avataar of Lakshmi and the parents shld be more happy.

    These guys are absolutely mad and crazy to talk like this !!!!

    Me and S wanted girls and we are absolutely happy abt it. Its not that we were against boys – it is to shut up many a mouth that talked.

    My dad is more proud of the fact that he has two daughters than one son !!!!

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    1. I also know many couples among my friends who would love to have a girl Uma. U r so rt about the girl being Lakshmi .. and the boy is Krishna .. abs. no discrimination there na 🙂

      So glad that ur dad is proud of u girls 🙂 We must be thankful to our family that we don’t hv such mean mentality 🙂

      Hugs 🙂

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  7. We are two sisters and our parents have gone through the Q&A by idle minded friends and relatives. Although my parents never miss having a son and we never miss having a brother.

    Surprisingly people in our society still crave for a son inspite seeing tons of examples wherein the son abandons the parents and the daughters whole-heartedly take care of everything.

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  8. Hmm….Hmmm…Hmmmmmmmm… thinks are changing in some parts but not in the country…people still want a male child…

    my [in-law] relatives keep telling me that I should deliver a son since H’s elder bro has two daughters…this sucks big time ! I hate that relative too much ! But thankfully my mother in law has no such thinking !

    But that’s that…you step out of the house and you will find 4 out of 5 household talk abt having a male child !

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  9. Swaram, first things first, I am proud of you, for being a wonderfully sensible human being. Second, ignore or stay away completely from people who think so cheaply. Such people should ideally be hanged. But since violence is not the means, let’s just hope they get some sense into their hard skulls!

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  10. Ignore re. I know its frustrating, but like you said ‘it falls on deaf ears’
    For now, can you not throw him in a bin? On my behalf, please?

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    1. and on my behalf too!! 😉 will be fun to “jhulao” him and throw him saying “one, two, three… ”

      The thought itself is so heartening! 😀 😀

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  11. your colleagues are a rotten bunch!! 😡

    i am a single daughter (by choice of my parents) and i have just one daughter (will have only her!! 🙂 ), my closest friend is a single daughter, her mother is a single daughter and my friend too has only one daughter (again by choice they have kept it that way!!)

    I have so many other examples!! 🙂 🙂

    And i wish your colleague doesn’t have a daughter… think, if he DOSEN’T come to love her, then???

    He just doesn’t deserve a daughter!!!!

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    3. oh I know … there a lot of sensible ppl arnd! But, we do think things hv changed .. I am shocked to see so many ppl and in major metros thinking this way 😦

      And I think u r rt, he shud nt hv a daughter!

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  12. Do such people exists that too educated working for IT companies! Shame on us!! couldnt agree more on this swaram, God bless you with a beautiful girl child who would change the world with lovely thoughts just like her mom.

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  13. You better quit the team. You have a bunch of morons to work with..I wish i could have a word with those folks particularly that guy who said his son his dark..idiot.

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  14. I am speechless that there are such characters around and that too working in a urbane, forward looking IT field. Not that I would crib any less if it was any other field, but the exposure that the IT guys far outstrip the others.

    And you having to work with them and interact when they in your view have fallen down to the lowest denominator? 😦

    People have not moved any farther and there are stereotypes all over. Incidentally, a fellow blogger commented on a similar aspect in hard hitting terms which I cannot refute in any way and it is sad. What it takes to be girls

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    1. Its sad Ram .. they dont even learn from the broad-minded ppl arnd them nor do they feel ashamed to be talking this way 😦

      Thanks for the link .. off to read 🙂

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  15. You, Reema, Pixie all work with people who have come from some other planet !!!

    You shouldve remained silent throughout the day and shouldve chose not to speak to them even when they probed. or say “I have better things to think about”!!

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  18. hmmmm the things are changing Swaram, I agree they are much slower than they should have been… but nonetheless they are changing…

    and education is not the only factor though I personally thing its a very important factor

    the only thing we can sadly do to these people is ignore though I have learned it very late infact I still get into a argument at times

    they will sooner or later realise it swaram… dont worry

    hugs loads of it

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    1. I wud be happy if cud I say that abt education Mons 😦
      On one side, I c such ppl and on the other, my iron-waali ws telling me they went for an operation after 2 [daughters] even though their elders were forcing them to hv a son! They wanted 2 kids, whatever it ws, ws what she said! Hw much hs she studied .. she is 7th pass!

      Thanks Monu for the hugs 🙂 Hugs to u too 🙂

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  19. many of the comments above has impressed me… am supporting there views..

    you know, i like girl child.. 🙂 I have 3 nieces… they are cool…. don’t shouts much…. ‘breaking things’ tendency is not extreme 😀 😀
    but on last Eid occasion, two boy child came to our home and smashed away 😯 hahaha.. very simple logic, isn’t? 😀

    but fact is.. the widen mind never cares of boy or girl… don’t know how educated people like your colleagues could think like that! 😦

    the world is a place of continuous shock 😐

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    1. Am glad the comments impressed u 🙂

      Well, its nt that I dont like boys bcoz they r naughty .. its just that I wud love to hv a girl if God feels so!
      Kids shud be a bit naughty u know .. and my cousin sis is the naughtiest of all of us .. more than any of my bros .. so there, what do u say 🙂

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  20. Oh oh.. that disturbed me a lot!!

    I have no words. I thought things changed with our generation atleast. Ppl who still think like this always end up learning the hard way. I sure hope they do one way or the other.

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  21. I can totally understand how disturbing such mindless conversations can be at times.

    Totally annoying 😦

    But fighting everyone or trying to change the way they think isn’t practically possible. As all have suggested so far, ignoring is the only way out.

    Change in the mindset is slow but is definitely occurring. That is the only ray of hope amidst the thick dark clouds of ignorance and ridiculous beliefs.

    Cheer up buddy and stay positive 🙂

    Cheers!!

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  22. this this really irritates me to no end …

    i have heard of in-laws giving miracle medicines to DIL so that male baby is produced …there goes all the science we have learnt !!

    And these days of nuclear families where none of the children live with their parents I hope so too this thinking deteriorates soon…

    One problem relates with not wanted a girl child is dowry too..
    since a girl born means so much money to be saved for her marriage …

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    1. Reminds me of my high school science teacher who hd told us hw we shud tell anybody rt on their face that the man is responsible for the X or Y and I hv only X, if they happen to talk abt the sex divide 😉

      Personally Vandana, I think any parent shud be able to stand up against dowry and better nt marry off their daughter to a person who seeks it rather than being against hvng a girl child!

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  23. I swear. Its impossible to deal with such lousy characters. I just don’t understand what is the bloody fixation with a male child? I’ve heard so many horror stories of the whole male-child saga.

    Oh I know 😦

    When my wife was pregnant, we were actually praying for a baby girl. Ofcourse that does not mean I love Ibrahim any less.
    Exactly wat I wanted to say!!
    I think it is the mindset. Is education even making a difference?
    Sigh! I hv the question too 😦

    That freak still fusses over jaathi n all that. With such jerks in the system, things will never change!!!
    Che .. I can’t believe such ppl exist 😦

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    1. not dwaraka Gils 😛

      Vansh and uddar … one who carries fwd the family lineage 😛

      Well, they r Sanskrit words and probably derived in most of the languages!

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  26. anyways..surprising to knw tht ppl stl care for all this!! i thot the times had changed..atleast the team where i am in currently..ppl r mad after girl child!!! in other (their own) words..they DON’T want boy child!!! i think madcaps exist in both sides 🙂

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  27. No swaram he should not get a girl and i am sure if he gets a girl he will not treat her properly.He should get a boy and later in his life he should repent of asking for a boy.A girl should get a house like yours where there is no gender discrimation and both are treated equally.

    It is our bad luck that we are in between these people who think it is only boys who take their family forward.

    We are 3 and my mom never wanted a boy but my father always used to say who is there after me to take family forward,he died and it is my mom who educated us,got us married and settled in our life.It’s my mom a female took my dad’s family forward.

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    3. Pinkuda and Varu r lucky to hv a Mom like u Sari 🙂
      Hats off to ur Mom Sari 🙂 I so wish like meeting her now 😛
      Where is ur house in Chikkadpally 😉

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  29. But swaram to be frank are they serious about that discussion.i guess they just wanted to charge you up.May be thatz y they passed those silly ‘jokes’.If they are serious then itz pretty bad.

    I don’t know, many of the peoples i know want daughters rather than son.Especially guys
    But i will say next time when this kinda conversation happen , you just avoid them and don’t even comment about it.It is a wastage of time

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    1. It ws nt a joke Anish and for that matter, I an nt one who gets instigated soon without a reason 🙂

      I decided to rant out bcoz this is the 100th time I hv heard this here!!!!! I feel bad that there are ppl yearning for one child of theirs who remain childless and here are ppl who just don’t deserve having a kid @ all 😦

      I wanna tell them next time that they should be well prepared for gay marriages … none of them want a girl no 😛

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  31. It always comes back to square one right?

    A friend of ours is trying for a baby and he said one day that he wants the first one to be the boy so they do not have to worry about the second one – let it be boy or girl. But if first is girl, then second time is worry as they definitely want a boy. He is saying this in front of us, who have two girls and me who is one of two girls and his wife who is also one of two girls. I was ok, as I have heard these comments so much from my childhood by third parties and do not care anymore. But I wonder how he will feel if he ended up having two girls!

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  32. aiyo inthavrige buddhi barolla kano.. we have tried very hard to change such people’s mindset but its so difficult. leave it off i say.. chill and go enjoy a mug of butterscotch ice cream 😀

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  34. oh this sucks..these idiotic souls will never get it, Swaram…i dunno how hard it is to understand boy or girl, it’s your baby and you shud love him/her just as much without any such non-sense expectations..sigh.

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  37. you really work with a bunch of fools 🙂 Son is dark? I have never heard a father say that!!! I am a single daughter to my parents (BY choice!!) and I am as good or better than a son! and they are really proud abt it. Not even once did they feel they needed a son. That jerk really doesnt deserve to get the love of a girl child. Let him get a son and let that son abandon him during his old age (okay, enough curses for a single day 😛 )

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    2. I am sure you’re as good as a son, but the truth in your comment would be more appreciated when you refrain from a generalized slur upon all male children. By doing that not only do you dilute the effectiveness of the wisdom in your comments, you also hurt the sentiments of male children who are dutiful and who appreciate that their sisters are equal contributors to family and society.

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      1. Nobody cursed sons in general here liberalcynic … the intention ws nt to hurt anyone! I would myself like my husband to be as good a son as a husband that he is!
        And I know many of my friends who are great sons too 🙂

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  38. I have seen more of such prejudiced freaks in IT than anywhere else. Makes me wonder all this education is useless. they need to go back to the 18th century and learn some lessons and come back….. or not….no one will miss them!

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    2. We have come to realize more and more that there seems to be no correlation between education and wisdom. Most educated prejudiced people just use fancier words and invoke some philosopher by quoting him/her out of context.

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  39. Are the ones who spoke all these were working in IT field? Shame on them… 😡 its really shocking to read it swaram… The one who spoke about the color doesn’t deserve a child itself… I am worried for that boy… And for the other guys they are still in sleep… Hope the reality strikes them soon…

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  40. Oh, it does indeed disturb us when we have such conversations. But somehow, i have always seen that boys prefer having boys just like we girls prefer having girls. But some of them I feel, even if they talk like that, once they are faced with having a girl , might not do so badly. They might come to care for them.

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  41. HUGS to you, for bringing out this topic. I will always be the one to be talking about this …Reading first few lines in this post, made my blood boil and also think its so COMMON amoung us INDIANS even TILL DATE. Lot of things have changed at a very fast pace in our Country and attitudes; BUT not about two major things
    1) COLOUR OF SKIN
    2) GENDER – MALE GENDER-( hell!!!)

    Trust me Swaram, I see such things in my family and around me so much. My fren delievered a baby boy last week and my MIL was jumping to know she has a son and indirectly pointing what a celebration it must be in the Family snce its a SON. I answered saying, even if it was a GIRL, the celebration would have been the same….I have no assurance the attitudes will chagne which hurts me so much

    I also come from a family, where we are 2 girl siblings. Never my parents felt bad , but always the society asking them “maga ilva? ibru hennumakla?”

    HELL WITH THE ATTITUDES!!!!

    I NEED A GIRL BABY

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  42. I can’t believe, some people still think about the gender of their kids…and I wonder if they are the ones who contribute to the literate lot of our country..God help us..when will we move ahead…it appeared as if a conversation made some 10-20 years back…
    btw thanks for sharing this experience…helped to see where we are… :O

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  43. That’s insanity! I believe they are so called educated…fellas. I mean come on…gather all the like-minded reader’s comments here and show it those JERKS…!!!

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  45. Its horrible ! Educated ppl in current corporate world talking like this so openly and in fromt of a female collegue..absolutely horrible ..imagine how they would have treated their daughters and wives if they had had one ..I thank god for not blessing them with a daughter. I pray to God to let all such ppl long for a daughter all their life and may be generations.

    I know I know , should not be talking so harsh..but then I definitely cannot expect this from current generation of educated and well earning men 😦

    Ofcourse a general longing for raising a kid for other gender (boy or girl) can be justified , like I long for a girl , though I love my boy sooooooooo much , but relating it to “Vamshoddaraka ” is so insane.

    Ask him to tell names of all his ancestors , and see if he knows he is Vamshoddaraka to whom

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    1. Oh u r rt namesake … wonder how much they wud respect their wives then? Women na!

      Can’t help but be harsh in such cases 😦

      Ha ha … wonder if he remembers even his grandfather’s name 😛

      And do they even remember who pushed them out 😦

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  46. Was expecting this post!! :mrgreen:

    What’s with them alwa? Sup cheap-skates!!
    My parents too have fended off such stupic questions with great ease!
    And the very idea of 2 daughters was so appealing that our names were already picked long before we were born and it was the only names they had. no boy names!!

    Vamshoddaraka!! Gwad!

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  48. Wow, and this is a very urban city among well educated employees of a big Company. Pathetic, and glad you spoke up.

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  49. sad! i had tiffin at a place in Pune. the family had 7 daughters and the youngest son.. he was spoilt and pampered and there was a very open bias.. tht household made me thank my stars for having been born in the house i did… like u, we are just two sisters 🙂

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  51. Damn.. i myself started hating them already. What have we come to? Does education offer no human values in these creatures? I am sorry, but I strongly suggest them watch DoorDarshan now, never late for these folks. Cheap minds is all I can say.

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  52. First things first Mrs. Su. Not right to curse people. No rights for you and for everyone to comment about someone and someone’s beliefs. If a dog bites and you bite the dog back, what’s the difference b/w humans and dogs eh?. ( actually its a very cool idea :D, but I read in a news paper one person doing it and was like wow. Finally a cool dude to prove the theory wrong).

    Second point – When you say ‘friend’s brother, the gr8 Vamshoddaraka’ your friend chipped in and blah blah. Would it mean all the males(I dont like the quote of vamshakella uddhara concept :D)?. I hope its just one person reference. As I have seen many who have sacrificed their lives to be of service to community(yes, males, but not the vamsha uddhara thing :mrgreen:).

    Doesn’t this answer the centuries old question?. No it doesn’t. How does it?. When you accept you are weak, then people around you would claim they are strong. That’s why all those dictators were able to command that much. All those upraising 😀 wrong word I know, but was because some people chose to take the lower life. So the same centuries old question will continue if you keep accepting the things. My point here is, go and convince your colleague to accept your theories. We will talk after that. Or it will continue for centuries more.

    Some of the references in your post were not expected. Yes, I know I might have done the same :D. But, it’s good to be commenting and in my shoes at this moment.

    This part –
    Colleague4: Jathi [Caste-religion] and all that? [He is the cheapest being I have met .. even if I hate saying this!].

    Lol. Some things never change eh. I will try to explain my concept of division(cast I will try to avoid :D). 100s of year back, say even before that. Sanitation and hygiene were un heard of. So, the division was done such that. It would atleast reduce the mass deaths. Imagine if one person involved in cleaning, herding, cooking for the entire community and also involving the death rituals. It would have wiped out the entire community. But, all of them co-existed as they did in turns and all :D(or atleast tried to :D). Down the line. There would have been strong set of people and some weak sets. Who tried their luck and made this an obvious ruling and taken it for granted. New clauses were added to make sure the upbringing of the others were difficult. So dominant set became more dominant and start dictating things.

    Now, that almost all would get basic sanitation, decent health care and all. There is no point of division. Just for quote, my friends cousin is a famous hair designer in Melbourne :D. So does it mean he has to be now of lower division(oh he is from a upper division for reference :D). Also, some of the so called lower divisions are cleaner than many of the higher divisions. So should we revisit the theories we have?.

    Same concept for people marrying some stranger(ok lets make it even more high stake and call it marrying people outside their country). Travelling to some countries like Singa, Bangkok, Colombo will take lesser time for us compared to travelling to Delhi?. So how does it matter anymore?. But, the division and beliefs would stop it. Would like to know what you think of this?. As I always had theories 😀 and never discussed it much. Yes, I understand there might be cultural differences and all. Won’t there be any difference when you marry a same division (avoiding caste :D) and same road corner guy/gal?. Silly concepts, but always taken it for granted.

    Your post –
    Me: If we can’t have one, we hope we can adopt one! Amen!
    – Good on ya. Your daughter+son will be proud of you and Mr. Su :D.

    Your post –
    Colleague2: Everything fine about my son man .. only complaint is he is dark!.
    Lol. He is lucky he is born with all facilities. Not some war torn or food scarce place. To think of it. He is lucky he is born to be a human and atleast has a brain to think, imagine had he been a desert wolf or kangaroo rat :O. Ya sure, colorful, but struggle to even get a piece of food :D.

    Your post –
    Y do we yield to social pressure so much?.

    Not easy. Try convincing something which they are totally against it and you will know :D. It’s just that you are lucky being in a family with not much cultural gap. The concept of love marriage is not accepted. Well, you can always love a person after marriage though they would say innit?.
    Just for quote. When I spent money to travel, people were laughing why would I spend money on my own to travel to places. What would you expect me to say. All I did was yes :mrgreen:, I was just plain stupid knowing 4 cultures, surviving on my own, planning and getting to know people, talking to many, making friends. Still, I was plain stupid was the conclusion :D. So, sometimes people around you can make you a total idiot of anything.

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    1. Well Ivar, I dont think this is just a belief .. its the worst belief and its a national problem! Its for all of us to try our best to help ppl get rid of such ideas!!!!!! I consider it my duty as a woman, as a citizen of my country!

      I will oppose such ppl!

      Will comment in detail 🙂

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  53. I like that you called a Jerk, a Jerk. Calling a spade a spade is not wrong. This fixation with male child, I thought, was not there with the present generation of so-called “educated” Indians. I am so wrong but then I have been disconnected from there for such a long time! Your post just proves that a mere education by rote does not build character. It builds “characters” like these jerks that you have described. This Vamshoddaraka thing is way over rated and belongs to the ancient past. A girl child will do the family proud just the same if not better.

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  54. Oh god .. Its very very hard to imagine that there are people in the current generation with this mindset .. I used to think that such mindsets belonged to the past and such biases rarely exist now ..how wrong I was ..

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  55. Inspite of the fact that the country has progressed when compared to its earlier state of conservatism. I think the society is still full of such taboos and thoughts. We are 2 daughters and I have never felt for a second that I was a burden to either of them. Quite on the contrary, my dad can be found bragging about his daughters everywhere on the earth and under the sun.

    Oh same with my dad too 🙂

    I housed quite the same opinion about daily soaps, but was proved visibly wrong. Male dominance in the set-up is so conspicuous and hard to ignore. Even in a corporate gathering, you can find people airing their views quite proudly about having a son. Having a daughter is like ‘jhanjhat’ to them. If this is the state of matters in an IT firm(as I gather), I shudder to think of homes a step backward.

    Oh abs rt!
    May sanity prevail.
    No offence to any guy reading this, and with no bias that I myself am a girl, I personally think girls are more caring and concerned towards parents, with exceptions in both cases.
    Hmm… 🙂

    Nice post, Swaram! 🙂
    Thanks Anu 🙂
    Made my blood boil for some time at those fellows in ur office.
    And mine is never below the boiling point 😛

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  57. Oh Swaram-please don’t wish a daughter for him. He just does not deserve such a precious gift!

    I would not wish that he has a son who disowns him in old age and makes him earn for a daughter scenario either….

    If someone can still think like this I can only feel sorry for the waste of education!

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  61. Hi Swaram, I am with you totally, He must have a daughter to understand what a daughter is. My grand father had 4 daughters and one son and during his last days only his youngest daughter was there who looked after him and took his responsibility, she did not even get married as her condition was that her parents will stay with her. He came only to perform the last rites, look at our customs, daughter did everything, son did not even look back inspite of being the eldestbut only he had the right to do the last rites. It pinches me and makes me cry when I think about all these things… Sorry swaram, I got a bit emotional here, sorry for the long comment. take care.Rekha.

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    1. Arre come on Rekha .. u dont hv to be sorry for anything 🙂
      I love heartfelt comments. I agree with u Rekha!
      Why do we hv such rules with the last rites? I hv heard so many ppl say they need a son to perform the last rites!

      If I don’t hv a son, I will for sure let ppl know my daughter does it than someone else in the family!

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  62. Swar, Mindsets of people are so narrow even today that no matter how highly educated they are,they will think in the same regressive manner as your colleagues. I believe a good positive upbringing is as important as good education in our society.

    Unless and until we change our thinking in a more positive way we cant claim to be living in a progressive country. I hope your colleague realizes that and accepts that a girl is as much a blessing from God as a boy.

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    1. I agree Deeps … upbringing is so so important. I am happy to see so many sensible, optimistic ppl commenting on this post! reinstils lost hope 🙂

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  64. “I whole-heartedly wish my colleague gets a daughter and he learns to love her as much!”

    Swar, with this attitude, I think even if your colleague gets a girl he will yearn for a boy and his wife might keep trying till they get one. Sad!

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  65. Boys= Trophy for some to show off! We laugh it off at their idiotic mentality

    I remember when I was a kid my paternal grand mother used to crib that none of her three sons have a boy. But my grandpa used to tell her then wait till they grow-up and your opinion will change. All I will say is .. it has changed! Now close to 90, she tell everyone girls are a boon and boys are brats :)..

    Ha ha … what a realization na .. time will tell 🙂

    Well,the brighter side of the boy- girl ratio; more boys means we have more & hopefully better options to choose from 😉

    LOL 😆 Awesome Pallavi 😉

    Oh as for those who believe in looking down at people due to their complexion and have other such weird thoughts- Keep safe distance from them and thank god their thoughts are not contagious!
    Hmm 😦

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  66. the gender bias still exists even in educated families.
    Hope the condition improves in future.
    But, I am biased in reverse order and believe daughters are better than sons. They are more responsible and caring for parents.

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  67. Quite strange that this conversation is happening in a hi-tec city! People are generally careful not to utter such biased statements. I think the best answer to such attitude is time. When they retire, they would get their answer anyway.

    Destination Infinity

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    1. Hmmm …. hi-tec cities are not what they are actually called DI 🙂 I always thought such things r only confined to villages and small towns now … sad but true .. they r not 😦

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  68. juz ignore them, they are animals posing as humans.

    They have never received education. education is what makes a Human out of an animal and a divine out of a Human.

    “Education is the Manifestation of the perfection already within” – Swami Vivekananda

    “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education” – Mark Twain

    they will derive more fun w/such discussion the more you argue w/them, juz ignore them

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  69. I would agree that considering the son to be the Vamshoddaraka (wow! I learned a nice new word) is really for the 1900s and should be defunct today. I have to point out, with due respect to women everywhere, the myth some feminazis perpetuate that the daughter is the blessed child as she takes care of the parents, while all sons are busy serving their wives (who, by the way, are somebody’s daughters). I think ultimately that any generalization in this issue is worthless, as each time we get ready to formulate a theory about this, a few contrary examples make their way to the fore!

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    1. We should definitely not generalize things .. I hv mentioned in the post as well as in a few comments above too 🙂
      All I want to say is that daughters r no burden … its upto u to be against the system of dowry .. y blame it on daughters if u can’t find a family of the other kind?
      And I am sure no daughter will think that its nt her responsibility to look after her parents after she gets married!

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      1. No doubt about it. There is no place for dowry in today’s world. As for daughters, I am sure they take good care of their parents even after they’re married. I think the more people choose their own partners, the sooner we can uproot the dowry system altogether. It is still sad that the bride’s side pays for the entire wedding in many of the cases today (that is tantamount to dowry, isn’t it?)

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Hum along :)

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