Recently, one of our friends announced that she was expecting. The group got talking about it, the general teasing, asking her how she felt and so on. Now this girl has always wanted to have a boy; not for any of the wrong reasons, but just because she likes to have one and like so many of us say we want to have a daughter. Some people pounced on her like she had committed a sin! And this temperament bothers me more than anything else! Why can’t someone have a boy just like so many of us want to have a girl? Why do we label anybody like that? Why do we think it is always because they are supporting a male dominated society? Why are we conditioned in one direction? Why can’t we ever take a neutral stand?
Similarly, a girl I met recently was telling me that anybody who wears a salwar suit in her college is labelled as a nerd! Seriously? If there are one extreme bunch of people who judge those who wear jeans, don’t wear black beads and so on, there are also another extreme bunch who judge those who choose to wear the other kind of dresses, dress up in traditional wear or whatever too? Why so? If we have the freedom to wear jeans, we should also let others have the freedom to wear salwar or saree or whatever they want right? When will we ever start letting people be what they want to be, without being judgemental? I sometimes feel as comfortable in a salwar as in my jeans, I wear toe-rings not because anybody has forced me to, infact I have a family who are the coolest about this and every other thing, but just because I like to.
Why is this so difficult to understand?
P.S: Had seen this on FB. Isn’t it so apt? 😉
The Song of Life 
Live and let live – when are we going to learn that as a society!
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Seriously!
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Jeez! whats wrong with people…let people wish for what they want na..as long as they are not harming the baby in the tummy..waise bhi, wishing or not wishing gives you nothing…you get what the choromosomes turn out to be eh?
and you wear toe rings? dont they hurt you…I wore them all for 10 days after marriage..lost 2 pairs…and my toes kept getting cut..finally chucked them out 🙂
We all can be so judgemental na?
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I have very very thin ones RM, and I don’t even remember that I am wearing them most of the time hehe 😛
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you have not heard of that saying .. KUCH TO LOG KAHENGE .. logon ka kaam hai kehna ..
I have stopepd giving a TOSS about what people say because no matter what they will stay something..
why did i cut my hair , why do i not do this , why do i wear a leather jacket , why do i have my ear pierced .. blah blah blah blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
someone asked me sometimes back and branded me a hypocrite and what not on a similar situation , first they asked me how many kids would i like to have , I said 2 or 3 🙂 .. then they asked what . I said I would like one of them to be a Boy and there you go .. the shutters opened to tell me what i am ..
I mean WHAT WRONG in that Had I said I want one of them to be a GIRL I would have been a Good person and Now I am not
so to hell with such people 🙂 and yes I can see you smiling at that (2 or 3)
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Hehe I live by that song 🙂 But others may not, and it might actually hurt them 🙂 Like the to-be Mom in the first case 🙂
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And so crazy people are! It is absolutely fine even if you want to have 3 boys too or even 4 or even 5 😛
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Hahaha! I agree! Judging is the easiest thing to do 🙂 I have been told I don’t look like a “two-wheeler” person, someone who was particular about studies, mmm, and very recently, not the “baby” kind. Really. There is no dearth of conclusions drawn by people!
About the wishing bit, exactly my point! HOW is it ok to wish for a girl, and not a boy? We talk of equality right? Nonsense it is!
I wore toe rings for 4 years post marriage. Now I am just bored 😛
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Hee hee hee u said it all! I went without them for a period in between too and sometimes wore fashionable ones only when I draped sarees 😉
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I so see what u r trying to say. I love girls and am all for them but if u ask me I had always wanted a boy. Sometimes I feel it is fashionable to say “I want a girl” and therefore ppl love saying it. Sunne main accha lagta hai!
We are a land of prejudiced ppl…
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Aah u actually got what I meant 🙂
Both Su and I want a daughter, but we would not love a son if we have one any lesser 🙂
And I agree about the fashionable bit too 😛 In many cases, I know people who dress up in so-called *modern* way just because others do so or because rs might think they are not *modern* 😉
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Oh the society and the opinions and judgements each one passes – most times even quicker than the speed of thought itself. I used to get so affected by all this. But overtime i have learnt to live and let live. 🙂
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I feel too many people talk about the lot who don’t give girls freedom, don’t let them wear what they want etc…Going by the same theory, if you are not letting a girl wear what she wants even if others deem the same *old-fashioned*, isn’t that kind of curbing her freedom too?
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I guess there are two worlds in India and they are always at loggerheads. But then we start divisions based on progress and get overtly judgemental. A part of me feels good when someone fights for a girl child but then what you said is also true. We judge too quickly.
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I would be equally glad if someone fights for a girl child. But this is just a case where someone wants a boy baby and will definitely love a girl as much 🙂
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This is called just gossip! Today they might say that wearing jeans is trendy to you on your face and tomorrow their view might change while talking to a girl who is wearing salwar! This is mere gossip! We must learn to ignore, though it is difficult to do so!
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Yup we must 🙂
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That’s actually a very good point. I think the problem with our society in general, as of today, is extremism! You are either on their side or you are on the wrong side! Sometimes, its not like that. We just need to accept that! How is it wrong to wish for a boy! Don’t get it for the life of me! 😀
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Exactly 🙂 Moderation is not a word in the dictionary at all 😉
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sigh. there’s no end to what judgements are passed. there’s always a way to see one’s choices in the wrong light. don’t know when this will stop.
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Hmmm …
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I don’t understand this, If you wanted to hear a particular answer, then why ask at all?
So obviously stupid and insensitive. Sorry. But it is apalling to see that little dreams and wishes when shared in a genuine way with no hidden intentions can cause this judgement!
Moreover, we are fighting for equality not some female dominated world. Guh!
I hope they were convinced finally. Sumne all over analysis maaDthaare!
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Now I know why we are soul-sisters 😉 U hit the nail!
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It’s rampant everywhere Swar…you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. For instance, I have clients who are bullied because they are overweight and then I also have clients who are teased and bullied because they are too skinny. You get bullied if you are bright and bullied if you have a learning disorder. Can’t win. I firmly believe in each to their own but I will pounce on someone if they start to judge me. I probably should let it go but the stubbornness in me won’t let it get away…
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Sigh 😦 Can so understand what you mean! It does make u want to pounce on them ofcourse!
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It would be wonderful if we stop foisting our opinions on others, S, but then, that will never happenl, right?!!
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Actually, I am talking about people who think they have changed (the so-called *modern* kinds) but point their fingers at those who not changed acc. to them (the ones who don’t wear modern clothes, wear their mangalsutra etc…
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Having a girl or a boy is their individual choice. People can sometimes be so judgemental
Wearing salwar is considered a nerd behavior. Shocked to hear this. There was a time when wearing jeans was considered weird in college. It is their own choice what they want to wear! People never stop commenting..
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And those who wear jeans comment on the ones who wear salwar 🙂 A round about problem 😛 😛
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lol.. good one 🙂
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😉 😉
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There is no stopping this judjing thing. I know few people who would judge on the basis of what kind of laptop a person is using. SIgh.
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Phew! That’s heights 😛
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I swear as to why do we have to get judgemental about every little thing. I have seen that whatever you do people draw conclusions and never let you be in peace by passing some sarcasm around. When you actually do not even mean that way.
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Sigh! How true 😦 They don’t want to even make an effort to understand what we mean.
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The FB pic sums it all. There will always be people who will comment. No matter what…
Swaram, On a diffeent note: ive been reading you for a long time now but never commented.your posts are too good…so im glad that you r doing this post a day too…
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Wow am so glad to know that 🙂 Thanks a lot and pls keep commenting 🙂
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The world has never taken kindly to someone who doesn’t subscribe to the general mentality, right? Earlier it was cool to wish for a boy, and suddenly everyone thinks hoping for a girl child makes one seem liberated. Could they be more wrong?? 😦
I’ve never really felt at home wearing all those ‘suhaag’ things after marriage, though to keep my MIL happy I do adorn all that when I’m with her. I do wear toe rings though, and I like them. 🙂
People think its their birth right to pass judgements on matters they have nothing to do with. The fact that at times someone of their own is repeating the same thing, is completely forgotten and ignored. Selective judgement.
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I wear both my mangalsutra and the toerings actually and its just bcoz I don’t have any problems with them (albeit very thin and modern ones :P)
What is more sad for me is that it is more people of our age group who are supposed to be mature and think they are modern because they wear a few things and don’t wear a few other things pass their judgements at others from the same age group. And this is all because they think those wearing certain things are not free birds!?!
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Acceptance is too low in our society , Swaram (: Even as minimal as acknowledging that people are different and hence opinions, desires, wishes, and therefore rules can also differ has not yet sunk into many of us..On the toe rings, I recollect an incident that happened very recently..I had been to a conference where many women from the industry had come together and in one of the sessions, a paritcular lady,lest acll her X, put forth her ideas and thoughts brilliantly..During lunch, the director of the organisation I work for comments how X wore a jean but has a bindi and has her hair plaited..Now, this comes from a lady who is quite old, who I belive should have had varied experiences in life before coming to this position that she is in, but comments about dressing ..I didnt see any reason for a comment on dressing comes up , while she could have as well discussed about the points she put forth..Where is all the inclusivity that the senior managemnet preaches about..Who is to say whats the right way to dress..To each , his/her own..Long comment, eh..Happy Sankranti Swaram 🙂
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That’s so ridiculous na? Preaching is so easy!
Happy Sankranti to u too Ramya and I love long comments 😛
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We are just too judgmental. We really need to learn the art of live and let live!
Very apt pic Swaram 🙂
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I know! Hope it happens soon 🙂
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So true!! Why can’t we just let people be?? It’s really annoying. How quickly we judge others’ choices!!
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Sigh! 😐
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