LONG POST ALERT!!!!! ALL REAL LIFE INCIDENTS THOUGH!

I was talking with a friend of mine over phone today morning. She works as a lecturer in a college. Along with a colleague of hers, she was posted in another college on exam duty. It so happened that, a man who was working in that college took her colleague’s phone number. The lady just gave it to him thinking that they were working in the same field etc.. without any second thoughts. This fellow has called her up more than 10 times for more than a few days now!! The lady did not feel comfortable on the very first day when he called her up thrice. But she never told him that nor told anybody else about it except my friend. My friend advised her to at least let that fellow know she did not like to talk to him and if not, let her husband know so that he can settle the matter. She did neither. The phone calls increased and she finally asked my friend and her husband to do something. They, along with her husband called the man and let him know stringent action will be taken if he does not stop doing the same.

I was just telling her about how the driver of the auto I took to office today asked me for my number saying that he would call me whenever he was nearby home and bring me to office, I refused immediately and said that I was not interested. This led her to tell me about the above incident.

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I also remember another occasion when I was walking towards the bus-stop and a man stopped by. He ws dressed up way too decently and was driving a high-end car, if it matters btw.  He asked me if I was aware of any working hostel nearby. I had no reason not to reply or feel he was fake. I felt it was but natural bcoz he found me at a bus-stop near a place where there are many IT companies and so it looked more than genuine that he asked me that qs. I replied saying I was not aware of any particular one, but hv heard that an area close-by has many such facilities. He told me his cousin was coming down from Bangalore and so he was hunting a place for her. He asked me whether I could accompany him for the search and I promptly refused. He told me he would drop me home and infact, we could look for one nearby my place! I knew it was all fake by now and asked him to carry on with his business. I knew everything was missing when he asked me what I feel about Hyderabad [he never seemed like a newbie here]? I said everything is fine but for the fact that its very hot [esp. for someone from Blr]. He immediately asked me whether it was about the weather or the boys!!!! There’s usually a traffic police man standing there but he was not there too. I somehow had to drive this man away on my own as I did not see many people around or atleast whom I could approach. This fellow now asked me for my number. Refusing would even get him to come down from his car or whatever … I was not sure. I did what I thought was right at that moment. I gave him a wrong number and he sped away. I then took the number of his car as I had a doubt that there was every chance he would be back there considering so many women’s colleges and many working options around.

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I have had many such experiences in my life. Two guys who were always found near my tuition classes in my 12th. They even followed me on my way home one day. It ws all very evident. Though my place was walkable from the classes, I remember even today how many galis I went through to reach home that day, just so that they would go back sometime atleast. I also went through lanes where a lot of people were present. I heard one of them say ‘Ae Saali apna ghar hi nahin dikhati yaar’ also. I don’t know what was going thru my mind @ that time, but one thing I knew for sure was that I had to escape from them. Thankfully, I met another girl on the road and asked her to show me the bus-stand. I did not want to tell her abt the guys as I ws nt sure hw she wud react, I mean try to run away, appear too scared etc.. As I had expected, she told me that she was heading rt there and took me along. After some time, I was happy to see these people go away.

Even today, when I think back, it does scare me sometimes thinking about all the things which could have followed. But one thing I know for sure is that we should stand up for ourselves. There was no other way out!

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Recently, when we had gone to buy vegetables in the adjacent lane, there was some Mela going on there and it was really really crowded. There were Police personnels posted @ every point. I suddenly felt a hand on my back. Turned back to see there was a man there and it was not at all accidental! I don’t know what went through me then but I just hit him hard with my elbow. I told Su immediately. The man had already taken to his toes by then. Su chased him and I also informed a policeman meanwhile and can u even believe he told me ‘Ur husband is anyways chasing him no?’ Su had caught him by now and as I started walking towards them, the policeman followed me. He then gave the fella a warning and let him go saying he was drunk and was not in his senses! WTH! Just bcoz he is in that state, should he be given the pleasure of experiencing the touch and feel of every woman he fancies? I am not against the police fraternity, but this is exactly what happened!
Must say I have encountered a few good samaritans too in this field here. I hv ended up calling the Police Control Room many times, owing to loud banging on ur head music @ 1 a.m or tryst with some auto drivers and they have really responded well or rather there was some action in return!

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When I heard that the lady was shit scared to tell that person she did not like him calling her, it reall hurt me 😦 She could have atleast told her husband, changed the number ..she could have done so many things! Why on earth are we so scared? I have heard many people telling me that we should not hit our head against a rock just because we think it is strong. But then, how long will we keep suffering and remain mum on the issue? It may be right that we should not be over-confident, but we need to be self-confident atleast?

Is it some deep-root conditioning? Is it the numerous stories we have grown up hearing, singing volumes about the valour and victories of great kings who ruled us? Rama saved Sita, some other charming prince saves a princess and she just falls in love! Ofcourse, I agree I hv a gr8 sense of security when Su is with me! But, its not possible all the time. There are times like these when I have to be at-least able to raise a voice, call some people around and do something about it.

It may be possible to take precautions that we do not go through a place which is lonely or may be late into the night when travel options may not be available etc.. But what about these situations? All of them in broad day-light, crowded with people? Recently, I heard a person say the good thing about having sons is that they need not be worried when they come home, what if it gets very late etc… I wonder how people can be worried that their daughters can be victims but not if their son commits such a shameful act? Is it not their responsibility to get him onto the right path too?  The sad thing is that such people make us lose our trust and we do see everything around with jaundiced eyes 😦

I think we ought to remember that we have also heard about women like Jhansi Rani, Kittur Chennamma and Onake Obavva too.

I am sorry for rambling away to glory but I wanted to get this across .. we need to face the brutes!

During his initial days as a wandering monk, Swami Vivekananda was passing through a forest and some naughty monkeys started troubling him. He turned back and started running away from them when he heard another ascetic calling out to him!  ‘STOP, FACE THE BRUTES’ was all he uttered! The message reached Swamiji and he turned back and stared into the eyes of the monkeys. It did the job!

I think we need to take a lessson from this one and Face the brutes instead of appearing scared and helpless!  Hw I wish such morons never existed 😦 But, since they do, we need to be better equipped too. Letz not keep mum and help them carry on what they r doing with 100 more like us!

P.S: I read another relevant post against eve-teasing recently  ‘Its Time to Speak Up, To Act

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