Love and Understanding?
“Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.” – Amy Bloom
I know this is one of the most debated topics in the world but what stops me from triggering another debate anyway 😛 Something which has been playing pranks in my mind for a long long time!
I am sure most of u might say the 4th one but how many ppl do we see really abiding by the same?
Why is that it becomes a great cause for concern for parents once their children attain marriageable age? Why is it that parents fear whether they will fall in love with somebody from the other caste? How does it even matter? How much ever I scratch my head, all I can think of is may be they thought there are too many differences in the rituals/ traditions between religions and so it might be difficult for the two of them to be united for life! But, tell me, is it really that tough? When you love n accept the person as he/she is, whatz the difficulty in accepting or rather being adapted to each other’s way of life/faith! Or better, why do we even need to? For eg… If X believes in idol worship and her husband does not, does it mean that they are not made for each other? And there are many more differences between a husband/ wife way above only cultures and traditions. When those differences can be accepted and people move on, why this one simple topic of being from different religions matter a lot? Isn’t it like making an issue out of nothing? Making something which can be as simple as two families meeting and fixing up a date for 2 individuals to be united for life, so complex that someone has to shed tears, someone else is fuming with anger, someone is forcing him/her to marry another one immediately! God bless such people and grant them some Sanmati! Why don’t they understand we have fallen in love with a person and not his custom or religion? If it was about falling in love with a custom, we can as well embrace the custom!
The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together – Robert C. Dodds
I hv a friend N who was in love with a boy S. Nw, their’s ws a serious relationship. I had met the guy too and it seemed like they were all set to get married. They were happy together, helped each other and from the outside, it looked like understanding, trust everything was in place. One fine morning, as I board the bus to get to work, I see this girl seated on the front seat and wailing. All the others were busy in their own world and she was trying to hide her face to save herself from being questioned. Nw, we were really close and so I just went to her, put an arm around her shoulder and let her cry! The silence ws a punishment but I did not want to question her and let her feel a bit better. She then told me S had started ignoring her calls and just sent an SMS saying they could not continue as his Mom was against the relationship! These two families had even knew each other. So, what ws the qs? Caste differences? Isn’t it ridiculous! And here ws the fella who happily went around till nw and just realized his Mom ws against it? Y din’t he think of it before letting a girl dream abt the wonderful future they r gonna have? Coward I say! I knew it would take her sometime to come out of it, but all I could say was ‘If that is what he did, he just does not deserve being loved and don’t shed a single tear in his name’. I know it must have been difficult for her but why feel sad and cry for such a guy who could not stand up for his love? N if u happen to read this someday Mr.S, N is now happily married to a man who can support her come what may and is indeed leading a blissful life! I am sure u wil realize what u have lost some day in life!
When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you’re sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship. – Joseph Campbell
Horoscopes – another barricade which comes in the sacred bond of marriage. I am no gr8 authority to comment on well-researched field of astrology etc.. but it hurts when I get to listen two people in love with each other are not allowed to be united for life just bcoz of some mismatch in the horoscopes! Hw far is this true? I know its all in faith! But, don’t we see people who have been married off after all possible matches w.r.t horoscopes have also had some trials and tribulations? I ws speaking to my friend recently and she ws saying hw just one small mismatch has become a thorn in the life of her friend and the person she loves! Nw, aren’t these things bad? What do u people think? Shud they be allowed to marry or not?
Recently, it so happened that a friend of mine would just not be allowed to marry the man she loved bcoz her nakshatra [star] demands that she be married off into a family without a FIL! Its so sad. Her star is the only obstacle in this otherwise well-accpeted relationship? On the other hand, y aren’t there such norms for the groom? Its all in love, trust and understanding! How does it matter if all these things match but the husband and wife just fail to understand each other? I understand all parents want is that their children are happy and are turned away when they hear such things, but does seperating their children from someone they love increase their happiness? Why can’t we be more broad-minded and practical?
I don’t deny or say that horoscopes/ astrology et..al don’t carry a meaning but hw do we accept when they come in the way of love?
There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved ~ George Sands
All I know is love excels! It can win over anything and everything! All we can do is, have faith in that supreme power, believe in love and move on. Mutual understanding, mutual respect and giving each other space are what matter more!
Whatz ur take on the matter?